There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
