omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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