go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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