So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he fucked my hip out of place.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
