Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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