well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
