I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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