Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
