Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
