end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
