I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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