My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
