Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
