i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
