shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
