When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
