just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
