Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
