Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
