Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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