just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize