I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it because I queefed?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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