Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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