To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
