i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
