btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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