we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
