I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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