My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
