I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
