why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
