So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
