his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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