he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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