It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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