I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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