Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize