Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and she was petting her beer can
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
