I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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