All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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