I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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