No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
