i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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