If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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