we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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