Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize