I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
