i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
