It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
