I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
