It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
