Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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