Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize