Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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