marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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