found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
